Oh, how shall I find rest in you? Who will send You into my heart to flood it, that I may forget my woes and embrace You, my only good? What are You to me? In Your pity, teach me to speak. What am I to You that You demand my love, and if I do not give it are angry with me and threaten me with great sorrows? Is it then, a slight sorrow not to love You? Oh, alas! for Your mercies’ sake, O lord my God, tell me what You are to me. Say to my soul, “I am your salvation.” When I hear this word, may I run an lay hold of You. Hide not Your face from me. Let me see it, though I die, for I shall assuredly die if I do not see it.
The house of my soul is narrow; enlarge it, that You may enter in. It is in ruins! Repair it! It has in it that which must offend Your eyes. I confess and know it. But who shall cleanse it, or to whom shall I cry, but to You? Lord, cleanse me from my secret faults and spare Your servant from the power of the enemy. I believe, and therefore I speak. Lord, You know. Have I not confessed against myself my transgressions to You, and You, my God, have forgiven the iniquity of my heart? I do not contend in the judgment with You, who are the Truth; I am afraid to deceive myself, lest my iniquity lie against itself. Therefore, I do not contend in judgment with You, for if You, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?
Do we have the strength, like St. Augustine, to ask God to come into our heart and change us? It’s so easy and comfortable to stay where we are – follow the rules, do the right thing, just do what we’re supposed to do and stay between the lines where it’s safe. When we give ourselves to God, though, when we turn our lives over to Him completely and say, “Change me! Fit me to Your will!” — that’s when the fun starts!
When we put ourselves into God’s hands and trust Him, when we allow Him to take away all that isn’t of Him, we invite Him to be an active part of our life. He cleanses us of our sins and then fills us with His grace. Nothing we do is “too bad” or too far beyond where His mercy extends. He wants us to be with Him and to love Him so, when we are contrite, He forgives us and brings us back into His fold.
So, do we stay safe and just do the bare minimum, settling for just being “good”? Or, do we have the courage to reach out for more? Do we have the courage to ask God, “Come into my heart! Make me the person You designed me to be!” Giving your life over to God is like getting on the scariest, wildest, most fantastic ride you’ve ever seen; but it’s also incredibly rewarding and something you will never regret. Are you ready to get on board? Are you ready to let Him in?
Deo Juvante, Jen